What a weekend we've had. Up and down and all over the place. Thanks to those of you that are praying for Mark and me. We so appreciate it.

Not much that's fit for blogging about right now, but I thought I'd share a few things ...

We got to see our niece Lindsey on Saturday.














She had a 3 hour layover at the Atlanta airport on her way home from New Orleans. No, she wasn't there for Mardi Gras. She and some students and profs from her school spent their winter break down there helping out Katrina victims. We were really excited to have a chance to visit with her. Let me give her a shout-out: Hey there, H-Kizzle!

My brother Marc spent the weekend with my mom and stepdad in South Carolina. They went to see my uncle Ron and aunt Elsie and help them with some projects on their house. My uncle Ron is having heart surgery and wanted to have some things done to the house to make it easier to get around and such while he's recovering.
While Marc was away for the weekend, his wife Tania told their daughter, Brenna, what was going on with them - that Daddy and she were separating and that he would be moving out. Brenna's only 6, so I'm not sure how much she really understood. I remember when my dad had the same talk with Marc and me when I was 7. All I really understood was that I had to choose a parent, and I chose Mom.
My mom tells me that Marc had a great weekend with them and that he really seems to be seeking God and is looking forward to going to counseling with her pastor, so I thought that was encouraging. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Single Digit Panic

Last night I was lying on the couch watching the Olympics with Mark (we got an antenna for our tv so we could watch the games) and I just randomly asked, "What week am I in? How much longer do I have?" I quit counting the weeks around December and only occasionally think about it. Mark guessed around 10 weeks, and I got up and looked at the calendar to see if that was right. He was close. It's actually less than 10 weeks - it's 9 weeks and a few days until Gwennan is due.

I woke up at 2 AM and it hit me that we're really in countdown now. NINE WEEKS. We're in the single-digits now. I only have NINE WEEKS to get ready for Gwennan. NINE WEEKS until life as I know it is gone forever. I started to panic. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. What do I know about babies? NOTHING. Will I be happy, or miserable? Will Gwennan be easy or difficult?

I've already felt pretty crappy about my housewifing abilities this past week (since quitting Nissan). You would think I would be able to get a lot more done than I have. My house looks like a wreck, I suck at getting dinner together every night, things just aren't getting done. It's depressing.

So I feel a little panicky, a little overwhelmed. I'm scared to death, mainly.

Sweet Mark, he's the best husband in the world. I told him as we were lying in bed this morning about my 2 AM panic attack, and he rolled over to hold me and said, "We're in this together, okay?"

Prayer Request for my Brother

Well, it's finally happening. My brother and his wife are going their separate ways. I spoke to Marc yesterday, and he's such a hurting puppy. His plan right now is to quit his job and come live in Marietta with my mom and stepdad until he can get back on his feet. He really likes the company he's working for (a pest control company in Lawrenceville), but they're small, don't have any branches down here in Marietta, and he can't see doing that commute every day. (Can you blame him?) So he's basically forced to quit and find something down near us. He gave his two-weeks notice yesterday.
He had such hurt in his voice yesterday when he said to me, "I'm losing my wife, my child, and my job in two weeks."
Selfishly, the good news for us is that he will be nearer and we'll hopefully see him more often. But I don't know - Marc and I are extremely different and have never been close. I love him dearly, but having him nearby may not really change anything between us. All I know is that he's going through such a difficult time, and I want to be there for him as much as I can.

Marc will start going for counseling with my mom's pastor once he gets down here.
Please pray for him, Tania, and Brenna when you think about it.
Thanks!

Pregnancy is beautiful

So yesterday afternoon I went over to Dawn's, where she had set up her portrait studio, and we took maternity pictures. We had a lot of fun. We decided to do some that were kind of "artsy" (read: partially nude.) For those of you that this offends, I'm sorry. I grew up with two artists for parents and learned to appreciate the human body for its beauty, so it seemed natural to me. Plus, I don't think I've ever felt as beautiful as I feel being pregnant. I mean, yeah, I'm fatter, but I just feel so darn womanly.
Anyway, I'm posting two of the shots below. One is clothed, the other is partially nude, with strategically placed arms, so hopefully you won't see more of me than you'd see at the beach.

The family that yogas together, namastes together.

This past weekend I decided to do some yoga. I had ordered a prenatal yoga DVD that I thought would help me with my back and hip aches, and I hadn't tried it out yet. Catri was with us, and she often has back aches from doing gymnastics, so she wanted to try it too. She managed to talk Mark into trying it with us, so we pushed back the couch in the living room and the three of us did yoga together.
I wish so bad I had been able to get a picture of it because it was very funny, but there was no way Mark and Catri would have let me do that.
It was especially funny to watch Mark trying to contort his body into the yoga positions. Catri's pretty limber from gymnastics, so it wasn't too hard for her, and despite my being pregnant, I've done some yoga before, so I knew how to do the positions already. But Mark - he was twisting and bending all over the place and generally looked like a human knot. He didn't have that peaceful, relaxed look you generally expect from someone doing yoga.
Anyway, this was prenatal yoga. The video showed three women in various stages of pregnancy - first, second, and third trimesters. I followed the lady in the third trimester; Mark and Catri followed the lady in her first. The lady leading it kept referring to how this or that exercise would prepare you for labor or benefit the baby, which made Mark and Catri snicker.
When all three ladies sat on the floor to do Kegel exercises, Mark and Catri got confused looks on their faces because it didn't look like the women were actually doing anything. I fast-forwarded through that section.

Two reasons I wish we had cable ...

1. The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show



















2. The Winter Olympics (which I love much more than the Summer Olympics)














Otherwise living without tv is fine with me.

Grumble, grumble, grumble ...

Dawn and Charles treated Mark and I to dinner at Houston's last night for my birthday.
Well, more accurately, it was Dawn's dad who treated us. He has this wonderful habit of sending them gift certificates to Houston's on a regular basis, and this is the second time Dawn and Charles have shared their good fortune with us.

We sat at a round table with these very chic black leather chairs (nothing but the chic-est stuff for Houston's.) Unfortunately, as chic as they were, they were horribly uncomfortable for a 7 month pregnant woman. I adjusted the best I could, but when I went to bed last night my hips were killing me and I basically tossed and turned in pain all night, never able to get comfortable, never able to fully get to sleep. I'm still in pain this morning and now I get to go to work and sit in the uncomfortable desk chair there.

The good news, though, is that this is my last week at work. I'm training another lady how to do the oh-so-complicated work that I do that takes up 6 hours out of my week and then I'm done!

This will allow me to focus more time & energy at home preparing for Gwennan and doing housewifing & home administrator stuff. (I like to call myself the home administrator, since I take care of our budget planning, paying the bills, dealing with insurance & utility companies, etc. It's amazing how much of one's time this actually takes up.) I'll also have more time to give to Grace Connections. I volunteered to do some administrative work for them a few months ago, but things have been coming up a lot lately to hinder me from actually doing much so far.

Oh, and Dawn & Charles gave me a great birthday gift: their old Nikon N80 camera, which they don't use much anymore since they've gone digital. It's actually just a loan, but my old Nikon 2020 has been dead since last summer and I haven't been able to do much creative photography since. I have my little Sony digital point-and-shoot camera, but it's so limited and actually a big pain in the butt to use. I could never do anything truly creative with it. So I'm excited to start shooting again.

I want to shoot the whole day down

I don't like Mondays.
Most people say that because they don't like to get up and go to work. I say that because I stay at home and my husband gets up and goes to work. I immediately feel lonely when he leaves. It usually takes a while for me to get going. I wander around the house, surf the internet, and try to figure out what to do with myself before I get bored and depressed.
I guess mainly I just need more structure to my Mondays. I need a plan. An agenda.
Of course in a few months, I'll be busy taking care of Gwennan on Mondays. Hopefully that will make them a little less lonely.

Prayer Request

I really think my brother Marc's marriage is coming to an end. His wife has basically checked out of the relationship, only she doesn't have the guts to admit it and just ask Marc to leave. She says things like, "I just don't want you to touch me and I don't want to be around you," like that's a minor thing to say. I think she's just waiting it out, waiting for him to get miserable enough to leave so she can say, "Well you're the one who left," which may benefit her in a child custody/support dispute, I don't know. (Marc and Tania have a 6-year-old little girl, Brenna.)
Marc is really devastated and depressed and calls my mom when he's at work and cries (literally) on the phone to her about the situation. He loves Tania, but the obvious fact of the matter is that she doesn't love him. He's given her all of himself and she's just rejecting it outright.
Please, please, if you remember, just pray for him and the whole situation.

Diaper Butt

Being pregnant has been a real adventure for me so far. Especially an adventure in maternity clothes. The most frustrating part has been finding decent maternity pants. Apart from my usual struggle - pregnant or not - of finding pants long enough, the main struggle has been with the phenomenon I call "diaper butt". I don't care what kind of maternity pants they are - the kind that go under the belly, the kind that have a big elastic band going over the belly - no matter what, you walk 3 steps or more, and the waistband is way down on your hips and the crotch is halfway down your thighs. It's so uncomfortable and extremely unattractive. It creates a look like you're wearing diapers under your pants or something. In addition to that, I'm constantly having to do the tacky pulling-up-my-pants maneuver, just as bad, if not worse, than the reaching-in-your-shirt-to-pull-up-your-bra-straps maneuver, which you can usually do a bit more discreetly.
Some people have advised me to just wear maternity dresses or skirts. Which I would be happy to do if it were spring or summer. But it's a bit too chilly for that. Besides, I'm more of a pants person.
One day I might just break down and buy some suspenders. It's the only solution to diaper butt that I can think of right now. If you can think of a better one, please let me know!

Peer Pressure. Give in, because you know you're not cool if you don't.

Bevin finally updated her blog ...

:o)

Holy Blogs

No, they're not the same as holy chips, Pedro.

It seems a lot of folks in our church are creating blogs now. I blame Zellyn, who had a blog long before any of the rest of us. I'm not saying that makes him cooler than the rest of us, although he did add a cubit to his height by sheer determination (and not by worry) and he would probably argue that he is cooler than the rest of us.

If you want to know what the people in our church are like, here's your chance to check them out:
Zellyn's blog
Dawn's blog
Ash's blog
Jen's blog
Mark the amazing husband's blog
and
Beth the expatriot-but-still-in-our-hearts' blog

Zellyn's wife Bevin started a blog too, but I don't think she's updated it since she started it back in October. So, Bevin, come on! Don't you want to be like all the other cool kids?

Also, we're still waiting for our dear Rogelio, the nouveau Californian, to start a blog, so we can keep tabs on him. Which, he needs keeping tabs on, because he wants to buy one of those motorcycles that go 200 mph and the mother/older sister in me keeps saying, "NO! You'll end up in the hospital!!"

The Sale that Wasn't

Okay, even though I'm still upset and depressed about this whole thing, I think I can write about it now.
I don't want to go over the details blow-by-blow because it's just a long story and doesn't really matter now. Basically, though, the agent and his buyers made an offer on our house and another house at about the same time - unbeknownst to us. I guess they wanted the other house more, but continued negotiations with us, I guess as a "plan B". We had reached a final agreement and were told by the agent that his buyers were good with the price and the closing date and were ready to close the deal. So we assumed it was just a matter of signing the binding agreement. Only the agent delayed getting the paperwork to us. When he finally did, it was all wrong. He said he would fix it and get it to us by Monday afternoon at the latest. By Monday around noon I was really antsy and asked my agent to call their agent. She kept getting his voicemail. I figured he recognized her number and was avoiding her, so I called him. He picked up right away. I asked him what was going on and found out that his buyers had already bought another house. I asked him when he was going to tell us about it, and he said we were on his list of people to call that day.
There's a lot more to the story. The agent had lied to us several times, was wishy-washy about some details, and was basically a big sleazy jerk.
I emailed him on Monday and told him he was unethical, and he replied blaming everything on our agent, who, especially when compared to this guy, is a bright angel of trustworthiness and truth.

I can't tell you how devastated I feel about the whole thing. I feel so betrayed, so taken advantage of. Mark and I had already picked out the house we were going to put an offer on. We were already getting excited about the fact that our house had sold. Their offer on our house came in right at the last minute, just before we withdrew our listing, so there won't be any more offers. (We had agreed only to list our house through the end of January. If it didn't sell by then, we would take it off the market so we wouldn't have to move at the same time Gwennan's due.) We will sell our house eventually, but now it's going to be months before we put it back on the market. In the meantime we have to pay taxes in April and double child support starting in March, something that would not have been as big a deal had our house sold, since we would have been able to re-shuffle finances to make it work. Now we don't know what we'll do.

I know that our hope doesn't lie in houses, or Mark's paycheck, or chariots or whatever. I know that the only thing that truly sustains anything in this universe is the grace and love of God. I know all that. But I'm so angry right now, I just can't stand it. I know I have to let it go or it will eat me alive, and I'm trying, but I think for now I'm just not done being angry yet.

An Extremely Rough Day

Well, turns out our house has not sold, due to what appears to be an unethical real estate agent (theirs, not ours). It's a long story, and I've been spending my day crying and feeling horribly depressed, so I don't really have it in me to explain the details right now.

Our cat Olly ...














caught this snake ...














today.
Big bad hunter cat, right?



























Not so much.

SOLD!

Our house has sold! No more keeping it spotless for potential buyers to walk through! For the next few weeks, all you who come over regularly, be prepared to see dishes in the sink, shoes and books and jackets in the living room, and beds unmade! I'm free! FREE I say!!

Well sort of.

There's the packing ...

Nieces and Houses

My niece, Brenna, celebrated her 6th birthday this past Saturday. They had her party at a place called "Pump it Up" - an indoor warehouse filled with huge air-filled jumpy castles and obstacle courses. Kids AND adults were allowed to play on them, so of course Mark and Catri participated. Mark was one of the few adults to get in there and play, and frankly I was quite proud of him. A little girl named Maddie attached herself to him, following him around everywhere.
It was SO good to see my brother Marc too. I rarely get to see him. He only lives about 45 minutes away, but we only see each other about two or three times a year. I love him so much and he's been struggling so hard lately with his marriage. It appears that his wife has just given up on their relationship, and Marc, being loyal and still loving her and Brenna, refuses to give up himself. Things are getting worse all the time, though, and I imagine Tania is going to just call it quits officially someday soon. In a way they're already living in a divorced situation. All they need is a piece of paper to make it official to the world. It really breaks my heart, and I know Marc's heart is broken even worse. Your prayers for him would be appreciated.



















Brenna on the birthday "throne"















Catri playing air hockey with my stepdad, Wayne















Mark, Catri, and an unknown child playing in a jumpy castle















Mom and Marc



















Marc, posing for an "action" shot, since my crappy camera won't take fast-movement pictures

In house news ...
We've gotten a solid offer on our house, and hopefully, if all goes well, we'll have a contract on it by the end of the week. Negotiations are a little sticky. The buyers are not super-cooperative. Nevertheless, I think it will work out.
And, if it does work out, we will have to be out of our lovely home by the end of February. We've looked and looked and looked at houses and right now we're setting our focus on this house:















Don't you love the angled siding circa 1985?? Yeah, we do too.
BUT, the floorplan on the inside is exactly what we've been looking for: big and open, vaulted ceilings, nice size kitchen and bedrooms, a guest "suite" downstairs, a decent master bathroom, plus the yard is level and a nice size (good for croquet and badminton.)
Now, here's the kicker. This house is a FIXER-UPPER. And I ain't kidding.
Needed:
- New roof
- Repair soffitts
- Replace deck
- Repair a few cracked windows & fogged sliding glass doors
- Repair or replace skylights in master bath
- Replace garage doors & two exterior back doors.
- New flooring THROUGHOUT (We want to do hardwoods in the living and dining rooms, carpet everywhere else. The two secondary bathrooms are fine. The master bath floors need work.)
- ALL new appliances in kitchen
- New counters in kitchen
- Master bath entryway needs to be framed in and a door installed (see photo below)




















There is a door to a small area where the shower and toilet are, but the vanity and bath area are open to the bedroom. We need to close it in so Mark doesn't wake me up at 5:30 AM when he turns on the light to brush his teeth in the morning!

You may be thinking, "You guys are CRAZY to take that on!" and yes, that thought has crossed our minds too. But we're hoping we can get a lot of the work done before we move in, if not at least before Gwennan arrives. If we can fix this house up, it will be beautiful AND will suit our needs really well. The price on it isn't too bad. If we invest about $30,000 in it, we can still get our money back when we go to re-sell it. (We think.)

Anyway, we haven't reached a firm decision to make an offer on it. And even if we do, the sellers would have to be willing to seriously cut their asking price. Which, if they are even half-aware of how bad the shape of this house is, they'll do. They'd be better off to just cut their losses and run. They've already moved out (to Florida), and I'm sure they'd like to stop paying the mortgage on it.

Okay, that's all for now.